
Anxiety Traps: The 3 Most Common Thought Patterns of Anxious People and Strategies to Break Free
Thought patterns play a significant role in anxiety, and addressing these patterns can pave the
Are you queer-identifying (lesbian, gay, bisexual, pansexual, genderqueer, or trans) and searching for culturally competent therapy?
Do you feel dissatisfied with aspects of your relationships or career?
Or are you hoping to find an LGBTQ therapist with whom you can explore your identity?
Like many LGBTQ people, you may struggle with self-esteem and anxiety. Though you’re successful and “together” on the outside, on the inside, you’re constantly preparing for the worst to happen. Maybe every day is a struggle with racing thoughts, mood swings, and a need to be in control of every little detail.
Perhaps these anxieties have infiltrated your social life and relationships. You may dread new situations and meeting new people, or perhaps you feel desperate to receive approval from others. It’s likely that you often find yourself awake at 2 am, replaying certain conversations and dwelling on what you could have said or done differently. As a result, you may have a hard time winding down at the end of the day or rely on caffeine to keep you motivated and focused.
Maybe it’s your romantic life causing you to doubt that you will ever have the fulfilling partnership you’re longing for. It’s possible you find yourself dating the same incompatible “type” over and over again or that you’re constantly chasing people who aren’t emotionally available. You may struggle with fears of commitment or lack the skills to create effective and meaningful boundaries. And you’re probably tired of thinking “all the good ones are taken,” or that you’re just unsuited for a lasting, healthy relationship.
You’ve tried going to yoga, meditating, taking the right supplements, or finding answers in self-help books, but all the inspirational quotes in the world can’t seem to untangle the knots of who you really are and what you really want.
Maybe you’ve tried therapy in the past, only to be paired with a straight clinician or self-proclaimed LGBTQ ally who failed to get to the root of your distress or just couldn’t seem to give you the sense of belonging you crave.
You’re tired of being misgendered and pathologized. You don’t want to spend time explaining aspects of queer culture in therapy to someone who doesn’t get it.
With an LGBTQ-identifying therapist, you can use your time in counseling to address your precise needs, understand your emotions, and process your experiences with someone who can hold space for you on your path to healing.
LGBTQ therapy is a place where you can have a space dedicated going deeper that “should’s” or “supposed to’s” and exploring your authentic self.
Thought patterns play a significant role in anxiety, and addressing these patterns can pave the
For many LGBTQ individuals, internalized shame is a familiar struggle. Stemming from negative societal attitudes
Communicating effectively with your significant other is essential for achieving mutual understanding and creating a
It’s not as if our society makes it easy to feel at peace or have a sense of belonging in a community. Issues of climate change, systemic oppression, and global unrest can make life feel daunting as is, but add homophobia, transphobia, and discrimination to the list—and the perfect storm of anxiety and self-doubt is created for LGBTQ people.
Even amongst the LGBTQ community, there can be a lot of assumptions and alienation. There may be pressure to identify or present as a certain way, and labels that were once meant to spread awareness and acceptance can now feel limiting or binary in nature. With these kinds of expectations to contend with, it can be hard to feel a sense of belonging anywhere, including within our own queer community.
Though all humans struggle with fearful thinking, relationship challenges, and big, existential questions of identity, the LGBTQ population faces particular stressors and challenges when compared to our cis-het counterparts. Many of us grew up with narratives—whether within our schools, religious institutions, families, or communities at large—that our sexuality and/or gender expression was somehow unacceptable. As a result, we became wired over time to feel anxious and unworthy of healthy, loving relationships.
But a place for you exists—and you can find it with the help of LGBTQ therapy. Working with a queer therapist, you can navigate your worries, overcome your inner-critic, and get clarity on who you are and what you want so that you can feel confident in yourself and your relationships..
When you’re preoccupied with the alarm bells of anxiety, relationship setbacks, and daily stressors, you can become blocked from your own wisdom and intuition. As a result, it can be difficult to take a step back and have clarity about what’s really going on. But therapy can help you practice cultivating calm and give you the tools to tackle life’s challenges with a sense of empowerment, optimism, and resilience.
With LGBTQ therapy, you can walk away from counseling with newfound self-awareness, having peeled back the layers of your life’s greatest obstacles to understand the root causes of your anxieties, relationship issues, and whatever is holding you back from finding meaning in life. I can help you develop the necessary skills for communicating your needs and establishing boundaries to achieve a feeling of empowerment and authenticity.
Before we begin our work together, we’ll have a quick 15-minute phone consultation where I can ask you a few questions and you can get a feel for me and how I work. You’ll have a chance to ask questions to get a sense of if we are a good match, and I will offer you specific suggestions for how my approach may be able to help. Once we know we are going to move forward, you’ll set up an initial appointment.
Therapy begins with a thorough intake during which we will explore your past, family dynamics, and what your LGBTQ identity means to you. We will also use this time to discuss any previous experience in therapy you’ve had and explore your hope and goals for counseling.
Together, we can clarify what your trajectory is. Though we can’t stop the ups and downs, you can learn to ride the wave of life—knowing you won’t be alone along the way.
With LGBTQ therapy, you can walk away from counseling with newfound self-awareness, having peeled back the layers of your life’s greatest obstacles to understand the root causes of your anxieties, relationship issues, and whatever is holding you back from finding meaning in life. I can help you develop the necessary skills for communicating your needs and establishing boundaries to achieve a feeling of empowerment and control.
Therapy costs a lot of money…doesn’t it make more sense for me to spend my money on more practical or fun things that make me feel better?
I understand that therapy is an investment of your time and resources. However, I encourage you to consider the costs of being anxious, preoccupied, and disconnected in your career and relationships. Not feeling comfortable or authentic in yourself chips away at your self-esteem over time and impacts your quality of life in ways that money can’t buy and wastes time that you can’t get back. Investing in yourself through LGBTQ therapy can help you to find long-term fulfillment so you can use your money to enjoy your life.
I’m afraid I’ll feel awkward or that I won’t know what to talk about with a therapist.
It can take some time to get to know a new therapist and feel comfortable, especially if you had bad experiences with clinicians in the past. I know that being the center of attention can feel a little strange, but my job as your therapist is to create a space where you can feel at ease and help guide you if you’re feeling lost or drawing a blank. And because I, too, am part of the LGBTQ community, I can offer empathy and perspective where other therapists may have lacked.
Can’t I just try harder on my own, and then I’ll finally feel better and won’t need help?
We all need support when there is something in our lives that we want to nurture, heal, or change. But capitalism and our culture have sold us on the idea that there is a magic fix to any challenge that if we just try hard enough and “bootstrap” it, we can get through life’s problems on our own. While you’re ultimately the expert on your life, working with a therapist can give you the extra perspective you need to get to the root of what’s keeping you stuck and give you the leverage you need to get unstuck.
Going at it alone might be familiar, but therapy can save you time, frustration, and confusion in the long run.
If you’re queer and in search of empathetic guidance as you navigate life’s hurdles, LGBTQ therapy can give you the perspective and insight needed to move forward with confidence.